Are you looking forward to—but at the same time, dreading—your family gatherings this year?  Your conflicting emotions are not unusual.

Family gatherings over the holidays can be stressful for a variety of reasons, whether it’s arguments with in-laws, long-held perceptions of favoritism among siblings, or—especially this year—disagreements about religion or politics. Throw a few glasses of wine into the mix and suddenly your table is turned into an incendiary device.

If you are hosting your family’s Thanksgiving or other holiday dinner this year, it’s in your power to turn down the temperature and guide conversations into pleasant, amusing, interesting, or, if necessary, neutral territory.

If you’re hosting, let your guests know in advance controversial topics that are off-limits. Emphasize the goal is to have an enjoyable gathering, not debate issues. And take the lead on keeping conversations light and inclusive.

Genius idea: a conversation jar

A conversation jar is designed to facilitate engaging discussions, particularly in social settings like family dinners and gatherings. And it’s exactly what it sounds like—a jar filled with paper slips

How it works

• Fill a jar with slips of paper containing questions or prompts. These can range from light-hearted topics to deeper, more thought-provoking questions.
• During dinner, invite your guests to take turns drawing a question from the jar and answering it. Pass the jar around the table.
• After one person answers, invite others to chime in with their thoughts or related experiences, fostering a group discussion.

Here are a few examples

1. What’s the most embarrassing fashion trend you used to wear?
2. What is one of your favorite holiday memories?
3. What product would you seriously stockpile if you found out they weren’t going to sell it anymore?
4. Can you name a movie title that best describes your life?
5. What were some of your favorite books as a child? Why?

Use these examples as inspiration to make your own or use our printable cut-apart conversation starters.

Click on image above to download the list of conversation starters

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• The candlestick in the library: Country house mysteries from the Golden Age
• Lean into winter with Hygge

Find even more cool articles for women over 60 on the Blue Hare home page.

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